Posted by: GeekHiker | May 12, 2007

Oh, you must be joking

If there’s one thing that we’ve all learned from the somewhat absurd movie rating system over the years, it’s that women’s breasts are bad.  Exploding bodies, gratuitous violence and language that would make a sailor blush are all, of course, a-ok.

Nowthe MPAA has decided to include smoking in it’s factoring of ratings.  In fact, there are groups out there that wants any movie that has someone smoking in it to be rated “R”, unless there is a decisive “smoking is bad for you” message included.

Now, I grew up in the Joe Camel era.  Smoking was in movies then as well: I clearly remember Lois Lane lighting up in the original Superman.  Of course, I also remember Superman giving her a stiff warning about cancer & x-ray-visioning her lungs to check, so I suppose that one’s okay.

But Cruella de Ville did smoke in 101 Dalmations, so I suppose we better slap an “R” on that.  Good God, it was right on the poster!  What were my parents thinking, showing me such debauchery?

Yet, despite it all (Joe Camel, Lois Lane, Cruella de Ville and smoking in restraunts (remember “non smoking sections”? what a joke)), I somehow managed to never start smoking.  And while I’m not denying that media can influence children, maybe that fact had something to do with my non-smoking parents, you know, parenting me.  Go figure.

So remember: violence & foul language okay, smoking & boobies bad.  Don’t show them in movies.  Don’t let them corrupt the children’s minds.  If you see someone smoking on the street, find the nearest child and cover their eyes to preserve their innocence.  Eventually, someone’s going to pass a law that forces nursing babies to be blindfolded so they can’t actually see their mother’s breasts.

Just you watch.


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