Posted by: GeekHiker | October 4, 2007

Darn It All

(No, really, massive trip post this weekend.  Promise.)

Well, not quite what I was expecting or hoping for on a couple of fronts…

A) Finally talked to the trainer at the gym.  Multiple choice: was her friend:

  1. Single?  Nope.
  2. Has a boyfriend? Nope.
  3. Married?  Ding! Ding! Ding!  We have a winner!

In all fairness, though, I did look and she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring (or any other ring for that matter) when I was talking to her.

Seriously, ladies, if you’re married, wear the darn ring, would ya?  I mean, that’s the whole point of the ring, isn’t it?  To let others know you’re attached?

I mean, sheesh.

B) The Ex called me back.  Last night.  While I was at the gym no less.

Left a message on the answering machine and sounded darn chipper too.

Honestly, I don’t have a clue what to do, since while I was sorta expecting her to call back, I wasn’t expecting it quite so soon.

So for the moment, I’m going to do nothing.

I figure calling her back immediately sends the wrong message anyway, like I’m desperate to get in contact with her or something.  I’m okay with maybe some sort of friendship, but I’m going to proceed really, really slowly down that road.

So I’ll just let it sit for a few days.  Then, I dunno, maybe call her back.  Or send her an e-mail.

Why e-mail?  Because over the phone the risk of saying something really, really stuuupid multiplies by a factor of a thousand or so.

And all this as I’m taking a deep breath and preparing to jump back into the whole online dating thing.

So I will contact her next week sometime.


If I don’t chicken out.

Okay, let’s make it a “maybe,” shall we?



  1. kinda … sorta … maybe? 🙂

  2. I’m sorry to hear about the trainer. 😦
    I don’t wear jewelry when working out either–can cause injuries if you snag it on something. That’s the tough thing about the gym. I’ve noticed a few men not wearing rings lately, even though I know they are married. Is there some sort of trend I’m not aware of? The only other thing I could figure is that they’ve gained weight, so their rings are at the jeweler’s being resized. Whatever.

    I’ll have to go back to some of your old posts to get the scoop on your ex. For me, I don’t usually look back, but I don’t know what your situation is. After much badgering, I tried out online dating two months ago. Still getting accustomed to it, but you might meet some nice people!

  3. bummer about gym-girl. i feel for ya. and when men don’t wear their wedding bands, i actually see it as an insult to their wives. same thing when men refer to their spouse as “the wife” instead of “my wife”

    as for the ex… if you have to overthink it, maybe you guys aren’t ready to be friends. being friends should just come naturally after enough time passes. i do speak from experience but realize not everyone is different so you can tell me to shut up. but if ya hafta agonize over whether to call or or play games like waiting a couple days to call back, ask yourself if you have that same dilemma when you’re calling any of your other platonic friends.

    let us know how the online dating is going! we can compare stories…

    sooo glad you’re back from your trip but patiently waiting to see the photos

  4. That is strange about the ring. My wife hasn’t taken hers off since the first week of the marriage and those times were accidents. Same for my ring.

    Good luck with the online thing. I met my wife online though it wasn’t the online dating place. We met in a random chat room on a Saturday night. She had found the address on a note in her classroom and was checking to see that her students weren’t doing something inappropriate. I was just bored and wandering around aimlessly online. We hit it off immediately.

    Charlotte, in my blog I refer to my wife as “the wife”. I do this because I don’t consider the wife to be my possession. She is her own woman. I guess you could look at it various ways.

  5. dobegil – yeah, that pretty much covers it 😉

    quirkygirl – hmm, maybe the married guys/gals should have to wear t-shirts saying so? LOL I don’t recall, though, if I ever really detailed the whole history…

    charlotte – I think maybe this post makes it sound like I’m over-thinking it more than I am, but you make a valid point. As for the online dating, I hid it before I left town, but haven’t re-activated it as of tonight.

    homer-dog – That’s cool about you and your wife. I’ve never actually been in chat rooms myself (except for work-related stuff). I wonder if Charlotte noted your thoughts on the use of the term “the wife”?

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