In the midst of my sickly delirium a couple of days ago, I found myself on the couch, hot water in hand, chewing on a cough drop, grazing the cable box for something, hell, anything decent to watch in the middle of the average workday.
Either I’ve gotten a lot smarter over the years (highly doubtful) or the quality of daytime TV has sunk to new lows. Most likely the latter, helped to no small effect by the plethora of talking heads (thank you Fox News, etal.).
At one point, I happened upon MTV.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I harbor no illusions. I outgrew MTV years and years and years ago. I think the last time I or anyone I knew watched with any interest was when I was in San Francisco in college at the time they were shooting The Real World.
It was somewhat surreal, of course, to watch these kids living in “The Real World” in that very nice house up on Lombard while three of us shared a tiny in-law apartment and ate Top Ramen and watched the show on our tiny little TV.
Real world. Uh huh.
But back to the present. In the midst of my grazing I came across something called “My Super Sweet Sixteen“.
Oh. My. Lord.
The show’s premise is pretty thin: rich kids throwing multi-thousand dollar birthday parties for themselves. The parties always have different themes, but the goal is always the same: for said birthday boy/girl to be the absolute center of attention.
And when these little 15 year olds don’t get the $75,000 Land Rover from Daddy? Well, they whine, of course. And Daddy buys the car for them anyway.
It’s truly horrible, awful television. And yet, much like any train-wreck, I found I couldn’t look away.
It was, in its own sick way, absolutely fascinating. And deeply disturbing.
Actually, I have less problem with the spoiled brats on the show as much as I do the effect on the poor kids out there watching it, the one’s for whom this will now be the template they will want to emulate in their own lives. And that template is? “Bling” will solve all of your problems and, combined with being the center of attention (the “star”), will make you a happy person.
(As a side note, another interesting thing I picked up from MTV: everyone is beautiful. Pretty, good bodies, make-up (often too much) etc. The exception? The pro-abstinence/get tested STD PSA’s. The kids in those ads look normal, average, with average skin and average (and, in some cases, somewhat pudgy) figures. What message, exactly, does that send to the average teenager? Food for thought.)
So, young whiny brats spend gobs of cash and I can’t look away.
Must have been the fever.
On the plus side, remember when was feeling slightly guilty for seeing a movie a few weeks ago? Yeah. I’m doing a-ok, thank you very much.
Have no fear, though, I was able to finally tear myself away. Good ‘ol Mike Rowe at Dirty Jobs finally got my attention.
Then it occurred to me: what if you took the kids from “My Super Sweet Sixteen” and sent them out with Mike to work a Dirty Job or two? Like cleaning a sewer or tanning leather or something?
Now that would be some quality television.
The GeekHiker 
the hybrid sweet sixteen-slash-dirty jobs show might be your best (and damn funniest) idea yet!
By: charlotte harris on June 4, 2008
at 6:22 am
Man … You must be sick! Actually, the Wife watches those types of shows and I occasionally watch them with her. They kind of make me sick.
You idea is pretty good but I think they’ve already done it … sort of … in The Simple Life with Paris Hilton representing all those Sweet Sixteen Party girls.
By: Homer-Dog on June 4, 2008
at 7:03 am
I’d watch something like that especially as I could be sitting comfy on the couch whilst laughing at the girls worried about their nails.
~fan of the man~
By: Crushing on GH on June 4, 2008
at 7:26 am
I think you’re onto something with this new show idea!
By: Aaron on June 4, 2008
at 8:08 am
omg, I love My Super Sweet Sixteen! Simply because it is so ridiculous, and I just want to keep watching to see what the bratty kids can get away with. It’s terrible. Also, agreeing with Homer-Dog… when you mentioned combining My Super Sweet Sixteen and Dirty Jobs, I instantly thought of The Simple Life.
By: Gabe on June 4, 2008
at 8:15 am
Sadly I think “The Simple Life” will make your Dirty Sixteen concept a tough pitch in Hollywood.
How about a follow-up show where we watch the Sweet Sixteen alums as they all go on a cruise together…say on the Titanic II…
By: Phil on June 4, 2008
at 8:37 am
This is how I got sucked into The Hills. You watch a train wreck like that once and you can’t help but venture back for more.
Maybe one of Mike Rowe’s dirty jobs could be setting up for a ridiculous Sweet 16 party…that sounds worse than impregnating turkeys…
By: Mel Heth on June 4, 2008
at 11:26 am
Okay, I am embarrassed that I am aware of this, but MTV is doing a new show where the spoiled Sweet 16 brats are shipped off to live in countries in Africa or in India or other places where life is hard.
One one hand, it will be good for those girls to be taken out of their element and learn that they aren’t as tough as they think. On the other hand, what terrible ambassadors they will be for those of us who aren’t so awful. And I view travel as a gift rather than a punishment.
By: Hadley on June 4, 2008
at 12:32 pm
I think that last time I got sucked into watching daytime TV, I watched back to back episodes of Finding the Next Coyote Ugly… I was rather disturbed at myself… love the rich kids in the dirty jobs idea… was that the premise behind that whole paris hilton and nicole richie saga….? Although I think I would get tired of the whining… but wait, they whine either way… so they might as well be dirty and whining!
By: Aly on June 4, 2008
at 4:45 pm
Charlotte – Heh, thanks.
Homer-Dog – LOL. True, but Paris already admitted to faking a lot of the scenes to make them seem worse…
Crushing on GH – They do seem to undergo a large amount of stress for the most minor things…
Aaron – Thanks!
Gabe – Okay, I’ll grant it’s entertaining…
Phil – Hmmmm, true, but here’s the big point: Simple Life didn’t have Mike Rowe. More importantly, it didn’t have his reactions to said idiocy. I think that give my idea a real selling point.
Mel Heth – LOL, darn train wrecks. Heh, I think I like Mike Rowe too much as a TV host to give him that job!
Hadley – Might make for interesting watching, if they can see past, well, themselves…
Aly – It is rather empty in the daytime. Even better: dirty, whining, and Mike Rowe making sarcastic comments. I think I have a winner!
By: geekhiker on June 4, 2008
at 8:27 pm
Wow! looks like you got yourself a stalker!! They even made a webpage! LOL!!!!!! Ok, I know it’s not funny, but….
By: *kb* on June 4, 2008
at 8:27 pm
Ditto KB, I didn’t notice her before but when I saw GH’s response, I scrolled up and clicked to her blog. Yowzah!
By: Mel Heth on June 5, 2008
at 11:16 am
ha ha ha, i just realized that too! it’s ether totally awesome or totally weird, can’t decide which!
By: charlotte harris on June 5, 2008
at 3:16 pm