I think Halloween is becoming a bit like Valentine’s Day for me: another holiday that falls squarely in the category of “fail”.
Valentine’s Day, of course, sucks when you’re single. It’s basically the universe’s way of taking your current status and rubbing your face in it. “See?” the universe says, “Look at all the happy loving couples out there EXCEPT YOU. All the guys that are getting nookie tonight EXCEPT YOU. Doesn’t your life suck? Now, go eat candy.”
Halloween’s become sort of the same thing, but rather than on a love-life level, on a social level. It serves as a reminder that this post continues to remain true. That while I watched and listened to others in the office plan out their costumes and talk up the parties they’d be attending, it’s not something I’m participating in.
There’s no costume this year. I wasn’t invited to any parties. I guess when people think “GeekHiker” they don’t think “hey, let’s invite him to our party.”
I almost decided to become a hermit this year. Not buy any candy. Turn off the porch light and ignore the knocks at the door.
But I figured what the hell. I bought some candy. I handed it out to the kiddies.
Now I’ve just turned off the porch light and look forward to November 1st.
And pray that next year will be different.
Although I’m pretty sure that’s what I prayed for last year.
The GeekHiker 
Hey GH, maybe you should throw a party and invite people? Get a jump on Thanksgiving and invite people who might not be able to go home for Thanksgiving dinner, to watch the game, etc. Do the same for Christmas — get together people for a ski trip, tree decorating party, whatever. Valentine’s Day, get together with people who are also single or who can’t be with their loved ones but YOU have to put it together.
Be proactive. Stop waiting for people to invite you, include you, etc.
If I lived closer, we’d have a kick ass party and EVERYONE would want to be on our invite list.
By: Dingo on November 1, 2008
at 4:41 am
I got some pretty durn good advice while in midst of a caterwauling why me? spell
Quite simply it was to stop being greedy and be thankful for what you’ve got. So let’s count the ways that GH is great: good photog skills, appreciative of outdoors, of the open/sharing type, can laugh at self, gainfully employed, reasonably healthy……I’m sure people who actually know you will happily add 🙂
On a (sort of) related note have you seen this article? http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200602u/introverts Parties? bah!
By: marie on November 1, 2008
at 7:41 am
I didn’t get invited to a party or asked about my (non existent) costume plans either and I have friends that were having a party, good friends.
All I wanted was the candy anyway and I’ll treat myself to Rocknrolla this wekend. 🙂
By: just a girl on November 1, 2008
at 8:43 am
I remember specifically not commenting on that blog entry because I didn’t know how to say what I was thinking. But this time… Dude, Halloween, and definitely VDay, are beyond overrated. I really don’t understand either of these “holidays”. I mean, I get the whole trick or treating aspect of Halloween. It’s nice for the little kids to put on a costume and visit the neighbours up and down the street. But I don’t understand adults dressing up to go party. Frankly, it seems nuts to me.
I get that it’s nice to feel included but you have to put time and effort into building and maintaining relationships and it doesn’t seem to me that you’re prepared to do that. You work a lot and you hike solo. Next time you go on a hike, I dare you to spend at least as much time looking for a hiking buddy as you do preparing for the actual hike. I’m naturally shy and don’t make friends easily either. The last time I made a friend who I still hang out with regularly was at work and we no longer work together.
Maybe it’s easier for a girl because girls generally tend to talk to each other whereas guys just grunt and scratch. But I set aside gaps in my schedule to spend time on the phone and make an effort to really understand and empathize with the people that I appreciate. (Like writing this long ass, and probably very unwelcome comment!). It’s hard but, if you don’t do more than just scratch the surface with the people that you want in your life, they’re going to think you don’t care.
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on November 1, 2008
at 9:09 am
Dude, I agree with Dingo and Marie. Make your own party and count your blessings.
By: Homer-Dog on November 1, 2008
at 10:00 am
Just do what I do and ignore V-day. It’s a ‘holiday’ that was manufactured for the sole purpose of selling cheap crap that no one needs.
By: Peggy Archer on November 1, 2008
at 10:06 am
I spent the day getting a haircut and watching little super heroes in the mall. Halloween sucks anyway. And don’t get me started on valentine’s; on past years it’s made me angry because what a ridiculous day is it anyway? But this year I might not have any angry left and just start crying. Argh.
By: narami on November 1, 2008
at 1:06 pm
good thing halloween weekend is a perfect time to hike instead.
i agree with the advice to stop waiting for people to invite you. maybe you will never be the one to throw the actual party, but you could change things so that you are the invitee more often.
By: charlotte harris on November 1, 2008
at 8:45 pm
I feel you. We are in a new city and The Hubster works on weekends, so I have embraced the whole going out alone thing. It may be different for a girl, but it ends up being a people-watcher’s dream come true. Beyond the 3,000 variations on a slutty theme (slutty nurse, slutty alice in wonderland, slutty Sarah Palin,etc.), it is cool to see people get wildly creative.
I’m THISCLOSE to chalking some of your frustration up to being an LA thing and suggesting a move to San Diego. I loved it there and the transient nature of the city welcomes newcombers with open arms
By: thecoconutdiaries on November 2, 2008
at 10:35 pm
Dingo – But that’s the thing, I don’t really have any friends to invite. As to being proactive, that’s all well and good, but sometimes I just wish that someone would invite me, you know?
Marie – I don’t dismiss those qualities. Well, I try not to. But if all those qualities are truly in me, why does no one seek out my company, apparently?
Just A Girl – Well, at least you got candy. How was the movie?
Mrs. Chuck Bartowski – Overrated? Sure. But also hard to put out of one’s mind. As for the friendship angle, my efforts are rarely rewarded (see tonight’s post)…
Homer-Dog – Soooo much easier said than done.
Peggy – LOL – I do my best, but it’s hard with the marketers driving it into your skull sometimes!
Narami – It’s one of those holidays that always seems to bring out rage or sorrow, isn’t it?
Charlotte – Now if only I could figure out what things…
By: geekhiker on November 2, 2008
at 10:40 pm
Snap out of it! Before I moved to the city, I was never invited to parties, I had 3 to go to this year! I actually thought of NOT going to one. I adore Halloween.
I liked Valentine’s Day when I was single too, but never underestimate just how truly peculiar I really am.
Perhaps finding a new group? Do you guys have a meetup.com there? We do, and I’ve found it ENORMOUSLY helpful to find things that I enjoy now that bf is in Chicago.
By: cripkitty on November 3, 2008
at 7:41 am
duuude – my ‘greats’ list did not include social traits. Are you social?
By: marie on November 3, 2008
at 1:17 pm
I’m your friend.
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on November 3, 2008
at 2:25 pm
Valentine’s Day is actually a great night for single people – I used to love going out that night because there are so many other unattacheds roaming the streets.
By: Mel Heth on November 3, 2008
at 3:13 pm
The movie was great! Very Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels; clasic Ritchie.
Plus Gerard is nice to watch. 😉
By: just a girl on November 5, 2008
at 4:01 pm