Posted by: GeekHiker | December 15, 2008

My Parents Were My Gateway

Today’s post by the talented and beautiful Charlotte Harris reminded me of an incident in my own youth.

My Mom was a teacher, as many of you know, but I may have never revealed that when I was a kid she was a teachers assistant for a hard-of-hearing/deaf class in our school. As such she often served as interpreter during guest speaker presentations.

One day in the fourth grade we had a guest speaker in our class to talk to us about the horrors of doing drugs. Of course, this was the eighties, so we’re probably talking just regular ‘ol cocaine and not crack cocaine. I think. Am I right? Okay, I think I just revealed my total ignorance when it comes to hardcore drugs, didn’t I?

(Although I do know the smell of pot makes me queasy. Learned that one my freshman year in the college dorms in San Francisco. Shocking, I know! Imagine that, marijuana at a college in San Francisco in the 90’s! Who’da thunk, right?

Uh, anyway…)

So near the end of the presentation little GH, always the good student and willing participant in class discussions, raises his hand to contribute. And blurts out:

“My Mom and Dad give me drugs all the time!”

I don’t recall for sure, but I can say with a fair amount of certainty that my Mom turned a lovely shade of beet red.

What I had been referring to what the antihistamine prescription medicine that I took in the spring for my hayfever. But what my little brain knew was: my parents gave me drugs.

Of course, this quickly segued into Mom explaining to the guest speaker and the class that prescription drugs were a whole lot different than illegal drugs, and that she didn’t take little GH home and night and hand him a rolled up $100 bill and a mirror.

Interestingly, Mom still enjoys telling that story to this day. Usually in an attempt to embarrass me in front of others with tales of my childhood.

‘Cuz that’s how my family rolls.



  1. Oh man, your mother is a gem. Mine… let’s not get into that hey? I’m counting the days til I have to slay the fire and brimstone breathing dragon. Well, not slay as much as cower in the fetal position until the dragon retreats into her cave.

  2. Hahaha! Awesome!

  3. I’m sure that after your revealing outburst your mom was probably using some sign language that needed to be censored.

  4. Oh funny. When I first saw that you linked to me I thought, “there is no way GH has a crack story, he would NEVER try crack!” I am so relieved! LOL

  5. Ah, now I understand why you are so into hiking. All this time I thought you were connecting with the earth when you’re really scouring the woods for ‘shrooms and other green things to light and smoke!

  6. The things that come out of the mouths of babes … and little GHs. HA HA! Very funny.

  7. That’s a fabulous story! Hahahha…oh your mom must have been mortified!

  8. Snicker snicker….

  9. I love it! Did every kid turn to you in horror when you said it? Good thing your mom was there to correct the story!

  10. lol.. I find this story so freakin funny and cute! Aw, little GH

  11. That story is adorable and hilarious.

    And serves as yet another reason – as you’re well aware – of why I love teaching so very much.

  12. so was your mom actually signing all this? because i’m picturing her pressing one finger against her nose, putting her head down, and then doing the uma-thurman-in-pulp-fiction head flip.

  13. “What I had been referring to what the antihistamine prescription medicine that I took in the spring for my hayfever.”

    Are you sure you reallllly had hayfever? Or did you maybe have EXTRA-energy that was making the parentals climb the walls? Energy that your parents thought maybe needed to be slightly curtailed?


  14. Sounds like one of those events that only become funny after an appropriate number of years pass. 😉

  15. Mrs Chuck Bartowski – Heh, she had the patience of a teacher. I’m sure you’ll be fine!

    Just A Girl – Yeah, but only in retrospect!

    Dingo – I can only imagine what she said in the teacher’s lounge later on that day!

    Charlotte – Nope, haven’t touched the crack yet!

    TheCoconutDiaries – I plead the 5th. 😉

    Homer-Dog – Heh.

    Ruby – I’m sure she was!

    Kori – LOL

    Mel Heth – I honestly don’t remember!

    Little Miss Obsessive – Well, I was pretty cute, or so I’m told…

    East Coast Teacher – Hah! That’s what would drive me away!

    Blakspring – Yep, that she was.

    Ms. H – I’m gonna totally date myself here, but back in the 80’s there was a whole lot less of the “kids being calmed down by meds” phenomenon…

    Aaron – I’m sure that’s especially true for Mom!

  16. “Nope, haven’t touched the crack yet!”


  17. True, it was less ‘vogue’ but…hey…the trend had to start somewhere didn’t it? Maybe your mom was The Pioneer!!


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