Posted by: GeekHiker | June 13, 2009

The Capper

Okay, so I’d better fess up: there was one dating website that I had left open until today.  Only because there was a semi-ongoing e-mail conversation with one last contact, and despite my decision to remove myself from the market for being undesirable goods, I wasn’t going to be rude and just cut-off an e-mail conversation in the middle.

Not that karma seems to give a rat’s-ass about my efforts to not be rude to my fellow humans, but still.


We’d been discussing getting coffee.  I’d sent her my phone number a couple of weeks ago, which it turned out was just before she was going out of town on a trip.  When she returned, she e-mailed me her number via the site so that we could work out plans.

I took a deep breath and I called her.

I left a voicemail.

Over a week ago.

I never heard from her.

Now, admit it, you weren’t really shocked by that, right?  You’ve been reading this site for a while now, you know the lay of the land.  God knows I wasn’t surprised, at least.

At least now I can add “rejected for the sound of my voice” to the list.

I guess.




  1. Maybe she is playing ‘catch up’ from her trip?

    We all know how hectic work is once returning from a vacation.

    I’ve heard your voice.

    If she rejected you based on that, she’s an idiot.

  2. Have you read the book The Rules? Maybe she is playing “hard to get” and expecting you to call again, coz a Rules Girl never calls a man back. If you are REALLY interested, just call her again and see if she responds. If she doesn’t, whatever; but if she does, you have nothing to lose. Good luck and keep us posted 😉

  3. Oh my goodness. After I’ve gone out of town for work or not…I’m megabusy. So, give her another shot. I doubt that it’s because of your voice. I haven’t heard your voice, but as ECT said, if she’s that kind of girl, she’s dumb.

  4. What a heifer. Give me her number. I’LL call her!

  5. Women are crazy. KaRayZee.

  6. Ok first of all…do you really want to be with someone who acts like that? (I know the answer is no.) You want (and deserve) someone who is dying to tell you about her day. Someone who wants to see you first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Someone once told me that the really good things are worth waiting for…so here’s my unsolicited advice. Relax. Change your perspective. Have fun. LAUGH!!! Enjoy the life you have. I know what it’s like. I’m in my late 30s and more than anything I want to be in love!! I feel your frustration and dismay! If you want to commiserate with another single…email me.

  7. Hey. Sometimes a second call is worth the risk.

    Oh, and new blog site,
    Mother Nature’s Daughter needed a vacay and I needed something new.

  8. Try one more time before writing her off. Please.

  9. I agree, you should call again, if you were truly interested in meeting her, there IS a chance that she maybe didn’t get the message. If you were kinda so/so about it then I’d let it go.

    It would be extremely lame if she decided to blow you off based on your voice. I know you are kinda jaded about women but there are indeed some that would be honest about their lack of interest (if that in fact was the case) instead of corresponding, making plans, and doing the blow-off once the plans became more concrete (I like to think I’m one of them, not that I get asked out all that often).

    Sorry, I realize I just told you that there are women out there that are better at rejecting men than you’ve experienced, which probably doesn’t help you much…guess I’m more defending my gender. Well, I hope you hit it off with someone sometime and that it goes somewhere, hell I hope I hit it off with someone sometime and that it goes somewhere, here’s to hoping I guess.

  10. Call her one more time…just to give her the benefit of the doubt.

    Otherwise give me her number and I’ll rip her a new one.

  11. I’ve heard your voice and there ain’t a darn thing wrong with it. I would guess she’s either A. busy B. didn’t get the message C. dating other guys because she is in fact on a dating site – so you might need to remind her of your presence. I say call her one more time.

    I like Michelle’s advice above, too. Yes, there may seem to be a trend with your dating attempts, but believe me – we all have our trends. I’ve been blown off plenty in my 16 years of dating. You’ve got to find a way to either make peace with being single or make peace with the annoyances that come with putting yourself out there. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep having this frustrated war in your head.

  12. ECT – For two weeks? And unable to return a call to plan coffee? Puh-leeze.

    K – The Rules girl never calls back? Then The Rules girl only gets the take-control-at-all-times guy she deserves.

    CripKitty – You know what? No. I have better things to do with my time, you know?

    Ms. H – LOL, nah, I can’t be that cruel.

    Mrs Chuck Bartowski – True enough.

    Michelle – Welcome to the blog! Well, I don’t know if I want someone who wants to see me first thing morning and night before we’ve even met. Sounds a bit weird, don’tcha think? 😉

    BackPackerMomma – Maybe so, but in my experience it’s not worth the effort.

    Kori – No. I made the call, I put myself out there. I’m tired of wasting my time, effort, and energy on people who can’t even pick up the fracking phone to return a call.

    S’Dizzle – I was interested in meeting her, but I’m not going to bend over backwards. When I said I was done, I meant I was done. This is just the icing on the cake.

    Ruby – She’s had two weeks to call back, I think she’s had all the benefit of the doubt she needs, don’t you agree?

    Mel Heth – A) doubtful b) not bloody likely c) having to “remind her of my presence” only illustrates that not returning my call is rude. As for the rest, you know that I’m done now. I had some clarification this weekend as to why, I just have to write it up.

  13. i was going to agree with the majority of the comments and tell you to call again, but it’s pretty clear that you don’t want to so i got nothing dude. sorry.

  14. I crazy too but you could call me and ask me out? I’ll say yes. I don’t have a logistical solution to the whole date thing (I would suggest you fly out here for ice cream) but at least I won’t have turned you down and I have no idea what your voice sounds like!

  15. Oy, why is dating so difficult!!!!??? I think its good to take a break from the online thing. Maybe after some time you’ll be ready to try again.

  16. BlakSpring – I just don’t see the point in calling again, you know?

    Mrs Chuck Bartowski – Oh, with your thesis and all the other things, I’m sure you’re already juggling enough right now.

    Little Miss Obsessive – It’s not just online. I’m done with it all.

  17. I tend to agree with your general decision. This online dating thing is utterly and completely hopeless.

  18. If you were an ass, and you are not, you would post her phone number on bathroom stall walls in the seediest sides of the crummiest towns you could find.

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