Posted by: GeekHiker | August 30, 2007

The Joys of Exes

Just A Girl had asked for an update on this post about a week ago, so here it is:

Old Film School friend – I did write him with congratulations, and felt better for doing so.

The Ex Girlfriend – Amazing how you can break up with someone, yet they never really go away, isn’t it?

Yes, I wrote her, but she never responded, which isn’t too surprising really.  Her birthday is next month, and I’m currently debating whether or not to send her an e-mail wishing her a happy birthday.  I brought this up to a friend of mine who said “well, you really have to question, and be sure of, your motivations for doing so.”

Obviously she was reaching out to me by leaving me the message; to what end I can’t be sure.

My friend’s statement did give me a lot to think about, because there is a part of me that does what to contact her, but why?  Eventually I realized it’s because I’m genuinely curious as to how she is, how she’s doing.

The fact is that, even though we weren’t made for each other in many ways relationship-wise, we did enjoy each other’s company, and had a number of good times together.  We didn’t end things with a giant argument or hating each other or anything like that, and although I’m not the guy for her, I do hope that she’s doing well.

Then again, despite the idyllic picture of it, is it really possible to be friends with your Exes, particularly someone you were with for a number of years?  I don’t know.

So maybe I’ll write her, maybe I won’t.  At least I’ve got a couple of weeks to figure it out.

In the meantime, I’m thinking of jumping back into the whole online dating thing, and all the, er, joy that that entails…



  1. I was actually referring to the Yosemite pictures but, sure, I wanted this update too.

    I have friends that are exes that now that they are married all four hang out together. Knowing the back story it boggled my mind but they seemed to work everything out and now do play dates with their children.

  2. just the thought of the online dating thing … has me breaking out in a rash! just don’t forget to show your sandwich pic!

    I understand about wondering how someone that you cared about is doing, I wonder that all the time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hubby to death and wouldn’t want anything to happen to us, however, there are a couple of people that I still wonder how they are even though it has been many years since we’ve been together as a couple. One of them I do send a birthday email every July and he sends me a thank you. The other I don’t hear from, but I hope he is doing well. They have this little tiny spot in my heart and I just can’t seem to push them out. I know it would not have worked out with either of them, however, you can’t help but still care.

    Good luck, my friend and be careful! LA and online dating … hmmm … double scarry!

  3. Yes, possible to be friends with an ex, as long as you were always first and foremost friends in your relationship and as long as you both genuinely only want to be friends going forward . I am great friends with a man I dated for several years and even lived with. We’re able to be friends now because he was always my best friend first and we seriously have no designs on ever dating each other again. It feels awesome to be able to be great pals now. Although he did mention the other day how the sex is with his current GF and that was weird, but I think that would have weirded me out hearing that from ANY of my friends. So online dating? What’s your profile, I am dying to see!

  4. just a girl – play dates with their children? That does boggle the mind

    dobegil – sage advice. Just stop telling me how scary the whole dating thing is, I’ve got no choice! 🙂

    charlotte – that’s an excellent example of what I would hope for. The key is that I know that there’s nothing but friendship there, and she would have to be in the same place. I’ve currently got a friend (female, natch) helping me revamp the profile one more time, trying to put more of my “voice” into it… are you doing the online thing as well?

  5. gh, sorry 😉

  6. OK, what the heck does “natch” mean – i’ve heard it before but never asked anyone. and yes I am doing the “online thing” as well (ugh!)… so show me yours I’ll show you mine 😉 he he he

  7. dobegil – no problem! 😀

    charlotte – “natch” is another way of saying “of course” or “naturally” (from which the word comes. Okay, I’m editing mine this weekend, but feel free to send me your profile and I’ll send you mine when it’s done… 🙂

  8. thanks for clearing up “natch” – i like it. and notice i said “show me yours I’ll show you mine” not the other way around! let me know when urs is finished and THEN we’ll talk.

  9. charlotte – no problem, I like it too. I’ll consider your “offer”. LOL 😀

  10. There are a few exes I would say I am friends with but we were friends before we ever dated so the friendship had foundation.

    You know Sex in the City asked this question once…I think Carrie’s answer was “no”. 🙂

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