Posted by: GeekHiker | July 1, 2008

So Much To Say, I’m Speechless

It’s not that I don’t have anything to write. I have a ‘frakkin ton of stuff to write.

Do you ever find that you have a bunch of ideas in your head, but none of them quite rises to the surface to be worth writing about?

I’ve been that way for the past few days. There are few ideas that I’ve considered writing about, even a couple of posts that I’ve started and then set aside, but none of them quite seem to “click”.

Part of the problem is that I get about halfway through writing the post, and realize that it’s boring as hell.

Or that it’s a rant.

Or a big, long, pathetic whine.

None of which is too surprising, as I’ve been battling a case of the blues of late. Yes, they were partially ameliorated by the return to the Secret Spot, but once I left, once I returned to “life as usual”, they came back. Lessened, perhaps, but still there.

Me having the blues is not particularly shocking, mind you, as depression runs on my Mom’s side of the family.

The two sides of the Parentage’s families are a radical dichotomy. My Mom’s side is the “Nor-Dakoda/Min-e-soota” side. They always were down about something (the weather, losing the farm, politics, health, etc.). My Dad’s side of the family is from the South (Georgia/Alabama). They had the same problems, of course (everyone does), but always seemed to figure that, despite life’s troubles, one could always eat a good meal. Generally BBQ.

Needless to say, I tend to associate myself with my Dad’s extended family a bit more. Hell, even my Mom agrees with that one.

Anyway.

So, occasionally, I get down. Not long enough or intensely enough to warrant medication, but definitely down. Of late not about any one specific thing. More just that little cloud that occasionally hangs over one’s head.

And so the writing ideas sit, stuck in half-written, half thought-out limbo.

(Of course, I’m also talking with a couple of readers about possibly meeting, which always makes me writing-shy. Then again, after I’ve met readers in the past, I’ve always just kept on writing whatever the heck I wanted to afterwards anyway. Besides, I figure if they’ve read the blog & archives, they know what they’re getting themselves into, eh?)

So what to do? Stop writing in the blog? Write but don’t post? Post and let everyone know that, every so often, my brain is a complete and total mess?

*Sigh*

The really sad part? I don’t like this post much either.

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Responses

  1. I totally empathize bc I have also been battling the blues for some time now. But I say, for your sake and ours, keep posting!! I dont know about you, but for me, getting my thoughts out there is sometimes like a weight being lifted – even if what I write isnt as eloquent as I’d like it to be.

  2. So, you’re saying that its time to BBQ?

    The really great part – your last sentence made me laugh out loud. And a friend told me today that that is a true complement, when you are sitting at your computer with no one around and you spontaneously burst into laughter.

    We decided that the only greater complement is when you are sitting at a computer in the middle of a crowded room and you can’t help but burst out laughing even though people think you are crazy.

    Good luck with meeting those readers. I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.

  3. If I thought about the quality of my blog entries, if they are boring, whiny, or ranty, or not, then I would never post. I usually just spill it out on the page … er … keyboard and let it ride as is. Your blog is much more thought out and it shows in the quality of the writing but every now and then, especially when you’re blue, you just have to let it out, quality be damned. Any good reader will understand.

  4. “Part of the problem is that I get about halfway through writing the post, and realize that it’s boring as hell.

    Or that it’s a rant.

    Or a big, long, pathetic whine.”

    I keep coming back because I like what you have to say, in all of its forms. My life isn’t always shiny and perfect so it’s always good to know I am not the only one in that.

    Keep writing GH, keep writing.

  5. I hope you get to the bottom of what’s causing this bout of the blues.

    Ya know I have always kinda thought that most of what you write is tinged with melancholy. I guess I assumed that your writing was perhaps your outlet for the things that are weighing on you. Or that that is just your personality.

    But I keep reading, friend. Even on the days you’re really “ranting and whining” although I would never actually categorize them as such.

    We have good BBQ in Virginia… if the USGS isn’t enough to lure ya out here. LOL.

  6. i know the feeling … and i did just come back from 2 months of not posting because everything seemed i would try to write seemed not worth it and not interesting enough.

    if you have stuff to write about though, for our sake, post them 🙂 like you said, we’ve read the blog, the archives. what you want to write is probably far from as whiny/boring/ranting as you think it is.

  7. Just a Girl is right – We all come back because we like what you have to say, and we want more of it. I’ve been writing my entire life and I actually think some of my best work has come from my worst times. I used to say (very dramatically, of course) “Pain is my best muse.”

    My favorite blogs to read are the ones that are real. And some of my favorite posts I’ve written are the saddest. So don’t hold back, GH – you never know, maybe someone will type a comment that’ll make a difference in how you’re feeling.

    Oh and about those readers you’re going to meet, I assure you they’re just like you. They won’t judge you on what’s in your head or heart. Because they’ve been there too.

    Now go sit down and make a list of things you’re thankful for. That always seems to raise my spirits. 🙂

  8. […] 2, 2008 · No Comments I was thinking about my blog-friend Geekhiker and his recent post about writers block.  He was referring specifically to a case of the blues causing him to […]

  9. Your posts are real. No one is asking you to shoot rainbows out your ass every post (but if you do, can you take pics of that?). We like your blog because we like what you have to say. Sometimes you might just say that you are blue (like today), or that you don’t have anything definite to say but “here’s what I’ve been thinking….”

    I think the readers you are going to meet are going to like you – although if you do shoot rainbows out your ass, they will have a case of the jealous.

  10. my brain is always a total mess.
    and i write and rewrite blogs, all the time, that i never post.
    and i think – in my head, always – things i want to say, want to share with the world, but things i know that the roommate (who reads) and others will bring back to me, to my face, and use against me. the “i can’t stop thinking about..” and then why i say i’m over it all – they toss it at me. “not according to your blog,” they say.
    so i know the feeling of wanting to write but not knowing what to write. of having things to say but not knowing the words. of knowing the words but not being able to share.
    and i really want to tell you not to have that fear.
    but god knows, bbq can help calm it. gotta love livin’ in the south. 🙂

  11. GH – keep writing. We would ALL miss you! The good, bad and ugly, we would miss YOU!

    I know I look forward to checking your site and reading what’s in your head and heart.

    Unfortunately, I understand about the blues, it has taken me 2+ months to pull out.

    Hang in there, Bud, and good luck on your meetings.

  12. I was always afraid to blog about what was on my mind – to let the whole world know. I mean, how embarrassing, right? At least for me. Later on I picked up a paperback in the library, a new author for me, and I really enjoyed how free and expressive her writing was. This author, along with several blogs I’ve been reading (including YOURS) have helped me to open up and express myself. If I see other people doing, well gee, I can do it too. It’s been very therapeutic for me. Please don’t hold back because you think you will turn your readers off. We enjoy what you write and you will probably feel better writing out whatever you need to get off your chest.

  13. Dude. I can relate to this on so many levels. I find that fall into funks sometimes too- which, can be scary when you are surrounded by ALWAYS cheerful, ridiculously happy people (please notice the emphasis on ‘ridiculously’). I also fall into periods where the writing doesn’t come easy- the kind of writing that I’m proud of (I may or may not be there RIGHT NOW). So, know that you are not alone.

    And even if I didn’t find myself in a similar situation right now, I would still leave you a nice comment telling you to keep going- things will get better. It’s just something us Canadians got taught to do in elementary school right after we made our first batch of maple syrup.

  14. Also, did anyone ever figure out why wordpress decided that a quilting motif would make a nice picture to post beside a commentors name?

  15. SingleFabulous – The blues are just something that comes and goes for all of us, I think. I’m hoping that there’s something new in your life that’s helping you shake yours!

    Aly – When is it not time for BBQ? Glad I could give you a chuckle!

    Homer-Dog – Sage advice, my friend, sage advice.

    Just A Girl – It’s not so much the blues or the writers block, ya see, but the fact that I have both at the same time!

    Charlotte – Melancholy? I suppose you have a point, though I’ve never thought of myself as particularly melancholy. Food for thought on my part…

    Seine – And we missed you. I dunno, some of it was pretty darn dull… at least from what I could tell!

    Mel Heth – I think I wouldn’t mind the blues so much if the writing were better, or the writers-block so much if there were no blues! Interesting, I thought about the thankful list, and came up with things to be sure, but ended up segueing into a list of things I wish for…

    Dingo – *snort* Will set up the tripod if I ever find that talent. I hope they do too!

    Kristin – You’re not alone; according to my homepage, I have 32 drafts! So BBQ will help me overcome my fears, eh?

    Dobegil – Have no fear, I plan to keep writing my friend.

    LY – Do you have a blog of your own (there is no link)? I’m not so sure it’s that I’m worried the readers will be turned off as it is I get about halfway through the post and it fizzles out…

    Brandy – Oy, those people annoy me (we have one at work). Good to know I’m not alone! I didn’t know that maple syrup making was part of the curriculum; whenever I see JaG again, she’ll have to give me a lesson!

    Brandy – I have no idea. Still, better than just an empty square, I think…

  16. The thing I like most about your blog is I never know what I’m gonna get when I get here. One day its a thoughtful look into your head, one day its a humorous look at your intertwixing with the female gender (you tell those stories the best!), and the next its a fabulous hiking review with amazing picutres that need no words.

    The posts that go unposted were obviously meant for you to get out, probably just for your own good. Maybe writing them helped you figure something out, or get through something or get over something. And its ok. I don’t need to know your every thought. I’m just grateful for the ones you do share.

  17. Backpacker Momma – Thank you. You always say the nicest things, and I appreciate your input always.

  18. +1 for Georgians. 😛

    (Even though you’re closer to prettier mountains.)


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