It’s been a strange, stressful few weeks.
A peaceful home isn’t something one thinks about much until it’s gone. When it went away a few weeks ago, I found it difficult to concentrate on just about anything.
Writing stopped, and the momentum I had after ‘Goin South stopped. I can’t say I was depressed, but my energy level certainly dropped.
My energy level is starting to return now, and my spirits are… well, they’re still kind of “meh” to be frank. But I’ll take “meh” over what was.
I’ve missed the blog, but I think the lack of regular, and certainly the lack of personal posting, has given me the distance I needed to figure out exactly how I want to handle things.
The conundrum for the last few weeks is that the lines between my blog and real life have started to intersect. I’ll admit that I always kind of knew it was coming; after all, if a major part of one’s blog is going to be about one’s hobby, chances are that people you know in real life who do the same hobby will, eventually, stumble upon it.
I never thought that I would have a problem with them doing so, and I was right: I don’t. Yet it has still made me shy and cautious about doing certain, more personal posts. No, not because I’d want to talk about anyone else here, but there are things I’ve thought of revealing about myself here but been hesitant about doing so, knowing that I might meet someone who’d read it and have to look them in the eye.
And then, no doubt, blush profusely.
Plus there are areas in real life where I’d like to be more open. It’s not uncommon that I’m asked on a hike or backpack if I post my pictures on Flickr. Well, sure I do. But if I tell you where it is on Flickr then that will lead you to the blog which will lead you to knowing all of my silly, stupid insecurities. And so the whole thing gets tied in a really bad mental knot.
I’d thought of simply starting a new, totally anonymous blog, but I still want some of my long-time readers (who I now consider close friends) to come along. After all, it’s your advice and counsel that I cherish, and helps me through the down times.
Instead, I’ve decided to simplify my life and start password-locking certain things. Most everything will still be open, of course: the hiking posts, Friday Sillyness, comments on the general insanity of living in LA, etc.
But for those deeply personal posts, the one’s where I delve into things that I wouldn’t ordinarily reveal to acquaintances, those will go behind the password lock. In fact, some past posts already have.
If you want to read, just let me know. Online friend or real-life friend, I’ll share the password with you. Or not. Depending on the nature of a particular post, I may not share the password with anyone, and please don’t be hurt by that if that’s the case. (If you’ve been lurking all this time, well, you’ll just have to talk me into it. *wink*)
I guess what I’m trying to say is: I’m still figuring it out as I go.
After all, the blog is an ever-evolving thing.
My home feels like a home again. It’s time my blog does too.
The GeekHiker 
Me! Pick me! (Bounces up and down in chair with hand stuck high in air like Hermione).
So, I’m a bit confused but it’s a little early and I haven’t had breakfast. Are we going to know that there are restricted entries floating around? Are you going to broadcast that? Um, I’m confused.
Okay clearly I need some breakfast. Anyway, I’m glad you’re figuring stuff out.
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on March 26, 2009
at 5:01 am
I BETTAH get the password…ya hear me??
And…I totally don’t blame you for restricting access to posts…I absolutely understand!
By: Ms. H on March 26, 2009
at 5:52 am
I totally understand what you’re up to. My blog, while anonymous, is read by my friends and family and I have found this really keeps me from opening up. Some things just shouldn’t be public. For me, having family reading it, it’s probably a good thing as my blog would degenerate into a whiny, pity party.
By: Homer-Dog on March 26, 2009
at 6:26 am
Haskell Stone, a wise and generous man, put it this way to me: “Jesus said not to toss your pearls to the pigs.”
To him this meant that you didn’t have to “let it all hang out.” Be judicious with whom you share.
I’m looking forward to more hike reports, more photo talk and a few personal updates along the way. I don’t need the password to your private thoughts but I would like to know how you’re doing from time to time.
By: Phil on March 26, 2009
at 6:57 am
me2! Are you going to email us when there’s a post (via email list or something?) Or just post on your blog, pointing to the locked post which we’ll be able to get to?
I understand wanting to keep some things private, I feel the same way.
By: spleeness on March 26, 2009
at 9:02 am
Considering that I was the one (okay, maybe one of many) a while ago that suggested private posting on sensitive topics, I DESERVE the password!!! 🙂 Okay, maybe not exactly, how about considering that I am your sort-of-neighbor (in a neighboring state) and love your blog?
But yes, I totally understand (w/ or w/o the password) that it’s necessary to keep your sanity (by blogging and sharing) and feeling free (not self-censoring).
By: k on March 26, 2009
at 9:17 am
I would definialty be honored to be able to read your protected posts, and htink you are a smart one for doing this.
By: Kori on March 26, 2009
at 1:06 pm
Password protected posts are a wonderful thing – and I agree, a great way to write more personal reflections without worrying about being censored/having someone you don’t want to read about your life find it, etc.
That said, I really and truly hope you’ll send me the password when you write these posts.
Even though we haven’t met (yet – note the emphasis on yet :)), we’ve been blog friends for almost an entire year 🙂
By: East Coast Teacher on March 26, 2009
at 4:19 pm
Wow this is like P.E. class all over again. Do I get to be on your team? I know how you hate my Mary Sunshine comments sometimes… 😉
By: Mel Heth on March 26, 2009
at 4:38 pm
I like the new header pic, btw.
By: Mel Heth on March 26, 2009
at 4:39 pm
Yes, the new header pic is awesome.
One of these days, I will be back at the beach in my swimsuit…
*Wonders how far away that day is*
By: East Coast Teacher on March 26, 2009
at 7:34 pm
I got lost after the Flickr blog connection thing that shouldn’t happen but… did? Or didn’t. Or will… but a very formal request for the coveted has been made by email.
By: narami on March 26, 2009
at 7:36 pm
Uh, that’s a pretty pic up there.
By: narami on March 26, 2009
at 7:37 pm
Ditto on the pic. It would make an awesome 1,000 piece puzzle.
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on March 26, 2009
at 8:55 pm
Is that pic from one of your hikes? It’s amazing.
Blogging does not have to be a expose (can’t find that damned accent mark) for general public consumption. Share what you are comfortable with sharing to people you are comfortable sharing with (like me!). I think password protecting posts is fine — not that you needed my approval but you know I always give my opinion on things. 🙂
By: Dingo on March 27, 2009
at 1:26 am
I think to a certain extent, blogging is a good and bad thing. Like, I got published in the local paper for my blog, and so more of my family and friends started reading it, and I immediately starting censoring myself. I hope I’m not the last one picked. I wanna password too dangit! Hehehe.
By: Melinda on March 27, 2009
at 5:07 am
dude, i totally hear you. and i totally expect to be given every password 🙂
homer-dog’s comment is how i feel too. i’ve been holding back a lot about my post-divorce personal life because of about 3 people that i don’t feel ready to share that with, even though it wouldn’t bother me if everyone else knew.
you gotta do what you’re comfortable with.
By: blakspring on March 27, 2009
at 5:49 am
Just remember, I know where you live….
*snicker*
If appropriate please password me 🙂
By: just a girl on March 27, 2009
at 7:29 am
Oh Yeah … Great Header picture!
By: Homer-Dog on March 27, 2009
at 7:35 am
No password for me. I’m fine with unprotected posts.
By: Gany on March 27, 2009
at 4:39 pm
GH, have you read this? It’s brilliant.
http://waiterrant.net/?p=1033
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on March 27, 2009
at 6:28 pm
password please, if you are comfortable with it. *hugs* you are such a pal!
By: dobegil on March 29, 2009
at 9:23 am
Mrs Chuck Bartowski – Breakfast, one of the three most important meals of the day…
Ms. H – Yeah, it seems the best approach.
Homer-Dog – So far, no family… yet…
Phil – Yeah, it’s never good to give up too much… especially in the open!
Spleeness – Dunno yet. People might have to e-mail a request to me. Guess I’ll figure it out as I go.
K – You are a neighbor! You should visit! LOL
Kori – Glad someone thinks this is smart! I never know!
East Coast Teacher – Well, that’s the idea, we’ll see how it works out…
Mel Heth – LOL – like the jr. high reference!
Mel Heth – Thanks!
East Coast Teacher – Oddly, that shot was pretty close to a beach…
Narami – Received and acknowledged. *grin*
Narami – Thanks to you too!
Mrs Chuck Bartowski – want me to send a copy so you can have it made into a puzzle?
Dingo – Yes, a hike I have yet to post. And I suspect you’ll be wanting a password, too, eh?
Melinda – Maybe you should do some password posts too!
Blakspring – I think that would make some interesting reading. Do you think you’ll do password posts too?
Just A Girl – True!
Homer-Dog – Thanks!
Gany – *grin* Good to know.
Mrs Chuck Bartowski – I wish my writing skills were that good!
Dobegil – I’m still wondering if I’ll write a post that I’ll not want to share with anyone!
By: geekhiker on March 29, 2009
at 9:48 pm
How about you give the passwords to the ones YOU want to. Sometimes it CAN just be about what you want. I know thats a foreign language to you but give it a whirl. 😉
By: Backpackermomma on March 30, 2009
at 4:40 pm
Yes please! Would you really do that?
By: Mrs Chuck Bartowski on March 31, 2009
at 5:43 am
Long-time “lurker,” first-time poster. I too have a blog and completely understand your new policy. I’ve censored myself and have kept my blog rather light; so I admire your ability to reveal personal stuff. Thanks for your blog.
By: kimsamsoon on April 2, 2009
at 7:38 am