I went back across the border this weekend, to the secret spot in Baja I went to last year.
Second time out of the country, and I still have no stamps in my Passport. No lengthy stop at the border, no visa, nothing. Hell, we nobody even asked us any questions.
Blank pages bug when you’ve actually used the damn thing.
Unlike last year, I can’t say I had any great revelations this time around. (And that was sadly short-lived, thanks to my previous neighbors.)
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the trip, as it was quite fun. It was good to get out of California for a bit, the weather was fantastic, the food and conversation wonderful. There was hiking, mineral springs, and off-road driving. Everything a GeekHiker could ask for.
But there were no deep thoughts, no revelations, no rays of insight shining down upon me. I don’t think that’s the kind of thing you can plan for, of course, but I had been hoping to get some pondering and writing done while away from the distractions of the city. Hell, I even took along a notebook, and sat in a chair scribbling down thoughts for a while.
Nothing I wrote was particularly striking, though.
It occurred to me that maybe insight only comes from being some place new, but I quickly dismissed the thought. Or at least decided that it was debatable.
There are some, I’m sure, who believe that insight only comes from traveling to new places, and that real thought is stimulated from a constant influx of new sights, sounds and situations.
There are others, I’m sure, who would argue the opposite: that insight comes from staying in a single place, like a Tibetan monk or something. Quiet, stillness, familiar surroundings leading to state of meditative or near-meditative thought.
What works for me? I have no idea. Wish I did.
Why? Because there are things I’m trying to figure out. Or, at least, know I should be figuring out. So far, though, whether it’s local or foreign, I haven’t been able to get rid of enough of the daily distractions to ponder what I want to ponder.
Hell, I’ve been so busy at work since I got back (and I only took off two days) that, not only have I been working overtime, I haven’t even managed to find the time to cook. All my meals have been eaten out. It’s nice to be needed, and good to have job security, but sheesh.
My scheduling in the near-term, though, is pretty much locked into place. Unfortunately, it doesn’t leave me with the time to take off from work and go hang out with those Tibetan monks and figure it all out.
Bloody hell.
The GeekHiker 
Well, no need for Tibetan monks — go to a psychic! LOL — I went to one tonight (for entertainment) and it was hilarious but shockingly insightful too.
Joking aside, sometimes I think happiness comes from little things in life instead of a grant “what’s the purpose of my life and how am I going to make it meaningful” soul-searching session. Get out of your comfort zone. Do a new thing at least once a month. Make a small change (even reorganizing your apartment is therapeutic), one thing at a time, slowly and gradually…
Regarding your epiphany last year, I think I want to add: in addition to looking into the future and moving forward, also focus on the present. Nothing is more precious than “now”, which will become a regrettable “past” if we neglect to appreciate it and live fully in it. Quoting my wall calendar: “Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.”
By: K on January 20, 2010
at 11:22 pm
I think clarity is a sneaky thing. It finds you, and slips through your fingers when you reach out for it. Just keep taking deep breaths and having adventures. And if that doesn’t work, then you can hide under the covers with me. 🙂
By: missmccracken on January 21, 2010
at 6:46 am
I used to reflect upon my life and what I should be doing and other important matter, but I kinda stopped thinking…I feel kinda complacent these days but oh well. It’s all part of the journey, right? or something..
By: s'dizzle on January 21, 2010
at 9:45 am
Maybe you need to be like me and sort it out within a crowd. Not a very hikerly thing but sometimes for me, my own silence is so deafening it sometimes drowns out deep thoughts. If you visit DC, I’ll take you hiking on the metro. 🙂
By: spleeness on January 21, 2010
at 2:21 pm
You said hell, like, a hundred times.
Insight and inspiration comes at any moment, in any given place. I can go to the same hiking trail ten times and 8 times I’ll find something new to photograph and 2 trips will leave me wondering why I cam eback, its all the same. Thoughts and moments are the same way. For me, anyway…
By: cmacc on January 21, 2010
at 4:15 pm
I don’t really agree with “K” but I guess it depends on people. I personally need to get out and do things I would not usually be doing. But major moves instead of baby steps which lead you nowhere. Any objectives? In the short/long term? Without those, you can ponder as much as you like…
By: Gany on January 21, 2010
at 4:25 pm
I agree with Cmacc. Insight is a fickle little feeling and it shows up when it wants to. I think it can help to be somewhere quiet (whether new or familiar). And I think the most important thing is to listen to every little twinge in your gut. So often, I think we silence our intuition (even sometimes when it’s screaming). The gut always has something insightful to say if you just take the time to hear it.
The passport stamps? They’ll come. And even when you have a bunch of them, I guarantee you’ll still see those empty pages and want more.
By: Mel Heth on January 21, 2010
at 5:28 pm
K – Well, I wouldn’t mind a giant “what’s the purpose of life” insight! I guess I could move around the furniture, though…
MissMcCracken – Inviting me under the covers? Oh, my… 😉
S’Dizzle – I know that feeling all too well…
Spleeness – Usually in a crowd, I’m too busy thinking about how to avoid people! LOL
Cmacc – Heh, I counted and came up with, um, four. I think I’m similar when it comes to going to places and having the 8-2 reaction
Gany – That, I think, is what I should be pondering!
MelHeth – My gut has been wrong so much I trust it little now…
By: geekhiker on January 21, 2010
at 9:34 pm
I’m in the epiphanies come from new events path. The only exception, maybe, is experiencing the same place or event many, many times over.
It’s like a man who stares at and follows intently one bird. He may never realize that there are many different types of birds in the world.
I have almost always found that the send time is never as good as the first which explains why sequels are rarely as good as the original.
By: Homer-Dog on January 22, 2010
at 8:32 am
Did you by any chance go with LABC? Being that they just went around the same time as you I thought that would be a kawinkydink (sp) or at least a small world kinda thing.
By: girlwithbrain on January 24, 2010
at 7:24 pm
**blushing**
By: missmccracken on January 25, 2010
at 5:47 am