The GeekHiker

Well, it’s been a hell of a month.

I’ve started class.  So far, it’s going well.  It’s nice to have the structure and pacing of a formal class vs. the self-study route.  Having assignments and deadlines is actually a relief, taking off the burden of having to constantly motivate oneself all the time.

Whether or not I’ll be able to retain all I need to retain for the test remains to be seen, however.

I’d still like to re-take the other exam.  I don’t like the idea of those months having gone to waste.  After that, though, I’d like to stop.  I’m getting rather sick of it all.

[I’d still like to re-take that exam at some point.  Before things came to light at work, I’d even brought out the book.  But, unlike the exam I took the class for, the server exam material just seem to hold my interest as much…]

Work continues to be hell.  I’m still convinced management wants to get rid of me.  Beyond that, just the growing stupidity and absurd double-standards are really getting to me.  No matter how hard I work, it’s never enough.  On the other hand, another employee spends most of his days doing nothing.  He stares at his screen, texts friends, makes sure to take every break.

His punishment?  The president gives him tickets to Lakers games.

[I was once criticized for failing to know that I was going to get sick two weeks in advance of actually being sick, and failing to incorporate that sick time into a job time estimate.  Fun.]

I rest my case

* * *

On a completely different front, I have all new issues on the love front.

Another blogger and I have been crushing on each other.  Of course, it isn’t simple: she lives back east.  In fact, it’s worse: she’s both crushing on me and has feelings for another guy.  One who keeps breaking her heart, pushing her away, refusing any commitment, and even slept with someone else to prove the point.

*sigh*

Of course, it’s this complicated.  It’s me.

[I always hear Han Solo in my head when I read that “it’s me” line. 🙂 ]

But what can I do?  Even when we decide to avoid flirting, we end up flirting anyway.  We’ve admitted to touching each other deeply, yet haven’t been able to meet.

I’ll lose to the other guy, of course.  That’s how life works, or mine at least.  And, it’s a shame, because she’s worked her way into a part of me that I’ve generally thought of as being dead.  The part of my heart that gave up after the 29 Year Old – hope.

Maybe that’s just how it is.

Problem is, right now I’m sitting at Ruby’s Shake Shack at Crystal Cove.  As I write this, couples sit on either side of me.

And I wish she were here.

And not just because I’m sick of sitting alone.

[Didn’t work out.  *shrug*  So much for my predicting the future skillz.]