The GeekHiker

November, so far at least, is proving to be, shall we say, horrible.

But at least I can’t blame it on L.A.

Where to begin?

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My second night writing by the campfire. It’s warmer than it was last night.  Quieter, too.  No one took the other spot and, as the two are grouped together, I have the area quite to myself.

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I hate my life.

It’s been a while since I’ve written that and, if I’m to be perfectly honest about things, it’s way too strong a sentiment.  Certainly how I’ve felt today doesn’t compare to how I felt a year ago.

Still.

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I managed to hike today, my second 3-mile trail in two weeks.

I’ve had the plantar fasciitis since last spring; I figure six months is enough time to rest.  It still hurts, still aches when I get up in the morning. But the feeling of being off the trail has been trying as well.

I can’t say that the foot feels much better for having been on the trail, but at least it doesn’t feel much worse.  So long as its a draw, I suppose I’ll accept it.  Perhaps this is just how its going to be from now own.

[Thankfully, that doesn’t seem to be the case.]

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My life, as I wrote on the blog, has become something of a rut.  It seems that all I do now is work and study.  Monday through Friday: work.  Monday through Thursday evenings, plus Saturday days: I study.  Right now, only Friday evenings and Sundays are free, when I’ve allowed myself a mental break.

This is how it’s going to be for a while, I think.

I’ve found myself pushing much harder studying this book.  Much more diligent about pushing my way through the chapters.  Don’t know quite why.  Maybe I’m just inspired by the fact that I passed the first test.

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Again – a long gap.  At least I can take comfort in the fact that the gap owes itself to busyness, mostly in good ways.

Trip planning, for the most part, has stopped.  I’m actually okay with this, as it’s less “stop” as much as “pause.”  Besides, with the economy looking like its going to double-dip, a slightly slower pace may not be such a bad thing.

[And here we are, a year later, and the economy still sucks while Congress spends its time passing laws to make sure 100-year-old-technology incandescent bulbs are still available in the name of freedom.  *sigh*  I won’t lie: the state of the economy is a concern in terms of taking this time.  But, like I said in the Suddenly, Change post, everything is aimed in this direction, soooo…]

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It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write. So much has been going on, there’s simply been no time to write.

Part of the problem is that I usually add to this when I’m in the out-of-doors, but shortly after my last entry I developed plantar fasciitis, and my hiking dwindled to nothing. Today I returned to the Secret Spot, a hike of only a couple of miles.

Between this and the hike a couple of weeks ago, I wonder if my staying off the trails was a mistake. There is little or no pain in my feet right now, perhaps owing to the better support in the boots, perhaps owing to the fact that its not being in the gym. It still strikes me as odd, though, given that the original injury occurred on a hike.

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I have been depressed.

I haven’t told anyone this.  In fact, I haven’t even really admitted it to myself. After I write this, I’ll most likely go back to denying it, trying to fool everyone, myself included, that it isn’t the case.

Part of it arises from what I wrote about previously: my inability to focus, to decide. But if I’m perfectly honest about it, there’s more to it.

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Lately, I’ve been having problems focusing.  Not to say that I can’t focus on anything; instead my focus keeps shifting throughout the day between a small cadre of subjects.

My alarm goes off in the morning, I think about how much I’m unenthused for work.  I slog through traffic, think about how I hate L.A., wish I were someplace else.

At work, my thoughts either go to the idea of the trip or to my own loneliness.  As such, I find myself surfing, either to travel sites, or lurking dating sites.

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